First Day of School

I realized the other day that this is our sixth first day of school. Emma started preschool the day after she turned 3 in February of 2006. Then we had K-3, K-4, K-5 and 1st grade.

This year is 1st grade again. We are repeating 1st grade and I am thrilled about it. I don't see any sense in rushing through elementary school! We'll stay as long as we can!

This is also our 4th new school. Hopefully, it will be the last for a while. Nothing would make me happier than for us to stay in one elementary school until they kick us out and send us to middle school! We have quite a few friends who have kids at Bethel and my hope is that they will get to know Emma, and she them, and begin to build some friendships.

My friend Jessica sent me a message today that they had seen Emma on their way in this morning and she had pointed her out to her daughter Caroline. When Caroline got home, she reported that she had seen Emma in the hall and had said Hi to her. I could have cried! I told Jessica to be sure to thank Caroline and to assure her that while Emma may not say Hi back, she does hear it and notice it and appreciate it. I'm hoping this is just the first of many new friends for Emma!

I was doing OK when I dropped her off until it was time for me to head out. Emma gave me this look that, to me, said "I'm trying to be brave . . . but I don't know about this, Mommy." I almost lost it. But, her teacher reported that she had a great first day, she seemed happy as a clam getting off the bus, and has had a good afternoon.

These are the days when having a child who can't - not just is reluctant to - not just that it's like pulling teeth to get the info - but that cannot tell me about her day could drive me insane. Or maybe to order a peppermint mocha (which I totally did a few hours after I dropped her off!).

I would give anything to know what she is thinking, feeling and wondering. Does she understand that school is back in for the year? Does she understand that she's going back tomorrow and the next day and the next? Does she wonder where her teachers from the last two years are and why the classroom is different? Did she enjoy her day? Was everyone nice to her? What was her favorite part of the day? Her least favorite?

These are the questions that I never get answers to. So I take them to One who knows the answers. And I beg Him to communicate with her little heart and ease any anxiety she may be feeling. And to give me wisdom to know things I couldn't otherwise know. To show me when to intervene and to give me the good sense to stay out of the way when she's got it under control (as she usually does!).

It helps me to remember that He loves her more than I do.

And that He is holding her safely in His arms.