Summertime

Summer vacation.

If I were one of those moms who seem to thrive in the midst of chaos—who laugh (without crying) when small hand prints appear on freshly cleaned windows—who think the higher the decibel level in the house the better—then I would be thrilled.

News Flash.

I am not one of those moms.

Sorry.

I love those moms. Except for when I read their Facebook statuses—giddy and exultant over the thought of the months ahead—and feel like the worst mom alive.

Because I have to be honest—I’ve been dreading this.

I love kids. I even love having a houseful of kids and I enjoy watching them wreak havoc.

Once in a while. For a few hours, maybe a few days—max.

But when life returns to normal, I don’t think a day where everything goes off in an unplanned direction is a good day. I don’t think it’s funny when my kids spread dirt all over freshly swept floors. I have considered wearing earplugs just to take the edge off.

Sometimes I wonder if my kids would have been better off with a different mom. Someone a little less uptight. Someone a lot more fun.

But I know that isn’t true. No one on earth is capable of loving them the way I do. No one on earth is capable of knowing them the way I do. And no one else on earth has been called to be their mom.

As weird as I am, for better or worse, God put us together. We were destined before the world began to be a family. My strengths and weaknesses will be played out before them and will shape who they become.

At the same time, I firmly believe the truth of this quote from She’s Gonna Blow - "God didn't give you your children so you could fix them or whip them into shape. He gave you your children so He could make you more like Him."

I will be forever changed as I strive to be the best mom I can be to the three souls entrusted to my care.

So with that perspective firmly in mind, summer vacation—here we come!

My prayer for this summer is that we laugh a lot, learn a lot and grow a lot. (Well, the kids anyway—personally, I’m hoping to shrink a lot).

But mostly, that we love—a lot.

I Corinthians 13:4-8a—Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (ESV - emphasis mine)